You’ve heard it here first. The Xbox 360 Elite is to Elite for Microsoft’s bridges. In early retrospect, Microsoft has decided to kill the Xbox 360 Elite before it’s even released. In it’s place will be the Xbox 360 Spartan for a real value. Whats the difference you ask?

Check the bullet points:

• Instead of that lame-o HDMI everyone talks about, the Spartan is to come with the good old R/F adaptor. HD is dead!
• Possibility of a Blu-ray add-on, NOPE! The Spartan will come with a add-on Laser Disc player. Now we can play Dragon’s Lair the way it’s meant to be played, in good ole grainy 480i.
• Black! who needs that whack color? The Spartan will be coming in Rainbow, so none of the haters can complain about there favorite color not being included.
• Larger Hard Drive? Please. The Spartan comes with a floppy disc. Who needs storage space anyway. 1.32 mb is enough. By the way, the new Live Arcade limit is now 4K. Get to work developers.
• Wireless controllers? Stop being lazy like that. The Spartan is coming with a ball n’ chain attached to the controller. Secondly the wireless range has been reduced to six inches, so get your sun block ready because you might get a little burnt by your TV.
• Price? $899.98, because some people will pay anything with the name Spartan on it.

[via Super secret press release]

-William “thewilleffect” Bell-