Rant Central #6: Achievement Matches FTL!

By thewilleffect
for thexboxdomain.com

Published: March 12, 2008

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Level 6 loaded.

*Thanks to X3F’s Xav de Matos for the inspiration for this small piece.
Alright folks, this one will be quick and to the point. Achievement Matches. Why do you exist? Are people that lame to want to botch the entire game experience so that they can eat there own soul only to get a few achievements? Does our society have any dignity left? For those out of the loop here’s the skinny.

Lets say your in an online match of [insert game], and once you get into the lobby with whoever you’ll be playing with or against and someone decides to eat their own soul, if they believe in that sort of thing obviously. At some point you’ll hear “Achievement Match?”. On first occurrence you’ll be like, huh? What ever do you mean? Then it’ll click. They must want to game the system so that they can gain achievements. Why would anyone do such a thing? Achievement points don’t really mean anything outside of bragging rights between you and your friends. Are people seriously this lame? Has my view of society been that far off? Has it really?

Naturally in my back stab of sort way, when in a situation like this and others in the game decide to comply by going along with this ridiculous charade, there’s only one thing to do. Especially when it’s a shooter of any kind, start to kill everyone who isn’t going to be considered a betrayal. Is this mean? You bet it is. Just imagine the faces on those unsuspecting of this. Should I care that I’m ruining their party? Nope, because if you have to resort to this tactic it isn’t really an achievement anymore is it?

Speaking for myself of course, if you find yourself in a game with me and you utter those pathetic words “Achievement Match?”, I’m going to virtually choke you somehow through my headset and hope to make sure you fell my wrath. Surely violence isn’t the answer, but I sure do believe that’s a crock of sh*t when it comes to this. I’d like to quote Duke Nukem by saying “Eat sh*it and die”, but civilized people would never do such a thing. Then again, I think I just did.

Level 6 done……Level 7 loading……..

-William “thewilleffect” Bell-

Rant Central #6: Achievement Matches FTL!

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